Smile When Your Heart is Aching

A young lady sang “Smile” for her deceased grandfather at our funeral home yesterday and people in attendance felt their hearts dissolve. Folks buried their heads in their hands. It was gorgeous.

“Smile” was written in 1936 by Charlie Chaplin, of all people, and the melody was used in the film “Modern Times.” Nat King Cole and Judy Garland recorded it in the 1950s when lyrics were added. There are now two Garland versions online–she sang it differently every time–but what follows is the best to study (despite poor video quality) for funeral use.

“Smile” was Michael Jackson’s favorite song–or so said Brooke Shields in her eulogy to him–and his life’s story (like Judy’s) imbued his recording with extra meaning. Here’s brother Jermaine singing it with great emotion at Michael Jackson’s funeral July 7, 2009, Staples Center, Los Angeles.

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You’ll get by…

If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just…

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just…

Smile.

Female Pall Bearers Carry Father Greeley

Greeley’s simple casket leaves church on Chicago’s South side yesterday.

Mass was celebrated yesterday for sociologist and Roman Catholic best-selling author Father Andrew Greeley at the Chicago church where Greeley had been a parish priest almost sixty years ago.

It’s not surprising that a strong-willed man who wrote about Jesus’s relationships with women, who also supported the ordination of women, and was survived by five nieces and one sister, would have female pall bearers (four of the six), but it is unusual, and a good illustration of how small gestures at the funeral can support the deceased’s point-of-view, paying homage in a big way.

Flowers That Communicate

I must share this photograph of a casket spray originally published on the British Good Funeral Guide website.

From the lively website goodfuneralguide.co.uk

The deceased woman being buried loved to knit, so the clever floral designer worked balls of yarn and knitting needles into the colorful arrangement.

Lesson learned: It’s okay to offer ideas to florists, then ask them to think.

He Saw the Promised Land

We all know that the Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. spoke of his own death and funeral in a sermon April 3, 1968, one night before he was assassinated. But I never knew that a recording of this same sermon, now known as the “I’ve Been to the Mountain Top” speech, was replayed at his funeral six days later, April 9. Have a listen, and watch the faces.

“Well, I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn’t really matter with me now. Because I’ve been to the mountaintop. I don’t mind. Like anybody, I would like to live – a long life; longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land. So I’m happy, tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!”

Shrouds for Burial and Cremation

Kinkaraco.com

What to wear? This is a question we all must confront daily.

And the pat response I get from some people– “Oh, who cares what I wear for my own burial or cremation. I’ll be dead!” just doesn’t track with me.

Let’s get serious. The rule of simplicity, which works so well in life, works great in death also.

Which brings us to the shroud. The shroud is one of the most significant items rising over the retail horizon of the 12-billion dollar funeral business. Jesus was wrapped in one. Here’s a little snippet of Charlemagne’s shroud (and I think Oscar de la Renta would approve).

Devout Jews and Muslims have much to teach about earth-friendly burial, and they stick with the simplest and purest of shrouds. Here are some pretty fabulous shrouds currently on the market. It is lovely to be bathed, dried, shrouded then casketed in a biodegradable box; I feel a lot of Baby Boomers unfamiliar with Jewish or Islamic custom are headed in that direction. Then of course, some people prefer to be dressed in nice street clothes–a suit, tie, etc., long dress for women–but you can still be wrapped in a family quilt or shroud after that, and then casketed if you prefer.

Kinkaraco.com

Child’s shroud by AFineFarewell.com

Kinkaraco.com

Funeral Music of the Day: “O God of Loveliness”

“O God of Loveliness” is another colossal hymn of undivided love and devotion, music used best, I think, at the close of a service for an elderly person who had a fulfilling life. It’s a knock-out as a recessional when the casket’s on the move. Listen to it below, as sung by a small chorus, to perceive how it might sound in the sanctuary, and here it is, exquisitely employed, at minute 1:50 in this video of John F. Kennedy’s funeral, where it follows the presentation of the casket and a stirring version of “Hail to the Chief.”

O God of loveliness, 0 Lord of heaven above,
How worthy to possess my heart’s devoted love.
So sweet thy countenance, so gracious to behold
That one, one only glance to me were bliss untold.

Thou art blest Three in One, yet undivided still,
Thou art the One alone, whose love my heart can fill.
The heavens and earth below were fashioned by thy Word,
How amiable art Thou, my ever dearest Lord.

To think Thou art my God,–O thought forever blest!
My heart has overflowed with joy within my breast.
My soul so full of bliss, is plunged as in a sea,
Deep in the sweet abyss of holy charity.

O loveliness supreme, and Beauty infinite,
O ever flowing Stream and Ocean of delight,
O Life by which I live, My truest Life above,
To Thee alone I give my undivided love.

Life of a Military Mortuary Worker

For Memorial Day, the New York Times does a nice job profiling the mortuary staff at Dover Air Force Base.